Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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