he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
