Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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