Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
