I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
