No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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