You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
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