Sponge bath it is.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My ATM looks so different sober.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
