worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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