the new term for farting is butt boxing.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
