girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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