Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
In America we eat man semen.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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