So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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