I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
