i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Randomize
