It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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