I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
