It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
How does one acquire holy water?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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