i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
