walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
