I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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