One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
