Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
