She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
