Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
