The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Randomize
