Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
