will power is for people who don't want to get laid
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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