we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
