i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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