White coat. Heels.
I didn't shave. On purpose
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
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I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
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That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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