put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
