this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Let's get the cat blown out
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
