I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
