you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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