you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
