Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
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