and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
