I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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