Just cropdusted the office
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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