My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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