A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
