Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
