why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
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OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
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the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men