Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(706): View more from Georgia

So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.

(404): View more from Georgia

I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?

(706): View more from Georgia

Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.

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(706): So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator. (404): I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer? (706): Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out. http://tfl.nu/p10m

Replies (29) Good night (859) Bad night (2003)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.

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(803): Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar. http://tfl.nu/zuya

Replies (29) Good night (8380) Bad night (872)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.

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(859): Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive. http://tfl.nu/9k83

Replies (22) Good night (924) Bad night (5435)
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(613): View more from Ontario

my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy

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(613): my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy http://tfl.nu/gete

Replies (19) Good night (1571) Bad night (3571)
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(541): View more from Oregon

i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.

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(541): i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis. http://tfl.nu/2bxd

Replies (35) Good night (1137) Bad night (8087)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.

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(+44): You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery. http://tfl.nu/036p

Replies (7) Good night (1334) Bad night (2090)
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(253): View more from Washington

We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.

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(253): We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up. http://tfl.nu/4lr7

Replies (6) Good night (3623) Bad night (950)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.

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(248): Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor. http://tfl.nu/dwej

Replies (1) Good night (2384) Bad night (860)
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(613): View more from Ontario

You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.

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(613): You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you. http://tfl.nu/xki1

Replies (6) Good night (1766) Bad night (672)
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(678): View more from Georgia

You is good. You is important. You is a slut.

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(678): You is good. You is important. You is a slut. http://tfl.nu/0cr6

Replies (9) Good night (1545) Bad night (700)
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(631): View more from New York

Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once

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(631): Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once http://tfl.nu/b35p

Replies (8) Good night (621) Bad night (250)
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(619): View more from California

I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.

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(619): I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays. http://tfl.nu/ooc2

Replies (1) Good night (568) Bad night (182)
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(469): View more from Texas

Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?

(972): View more from Texas

This is why american education is failing

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(469): Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover? (972): This is why american education is failing http://tfl.nu/dkmi

Replies (4) Good night (567) Bad night (248)
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(443): View more from Maryland

Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone

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(443): Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone http://tfl.nu/3q0e

Replies (0) Good night (307) Bad night (171)
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(404): View more from Georgia

I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.

(843): View more from South Carolina

Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?

(404): View more from Georgia

I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.

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(404): I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight. (843): Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back? (404): I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me. http://tfl.nu/tm5b

Replies (2) Good night (278) Bad night (489)

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