I'm jealous of your bromance
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
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My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
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Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?