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• (510): View more from California

  You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  a queef is a wish your heart makes.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...

  (1-540): View more from Virginia

  You at least unplugged it right?

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.

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• (772): View more from Florida

  At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.

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• (716): View more from New York

  I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro

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• (559): View more from California

  This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.

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