never play flip cup with pint glasses
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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