Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
