remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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