i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
