Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
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i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
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I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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