Can i not drive my cunt home
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
