and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
