I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
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I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
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I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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