We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
