If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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