She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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