The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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