I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize