YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
