and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
