Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
