i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
