there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
