What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
