Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
