I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
My ATM looks so different sober.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
