yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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