i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
